








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8155 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5842 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 5741 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,327 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shakana | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Harehi | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Anemo slime | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | QLeo223Q | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | on9仔 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harehi | 1354 | 0.41 | 24 min |
| #2 | Anemo slime | 849 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | QLeo223Q | 657 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #4 | Shakana | 581 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #5 | on9仔 | 392 | 0.10 | 11 min |





