








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 395 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5077 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5206 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4255 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5199 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,020,463 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk998 | 57% | 248 |
| #2 | MadMat | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | .blackyyy | 55% | 330 |
| #4 | mexn¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 53% | 105 |
| #5 | StruppsN | 53% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | n0madic | 52% | 255 |
| #8 | LauchSeinOpa | 50% | 28 |
| #9 | Mikefox2k | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | Subislav | 41% | 29 |
| #11 | MRxRED | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StruppsN | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | .blackyyy | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | n0madic | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | LauchSeinOpa | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Mikefox2k | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StruppsN | 1925 | 0.28 | 62 min |
| #2 | .blackyyy | 970 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #3 | Hulk998 | 919 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #4 | n0madic | 518 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | mexn¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 144 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRxRED | +2.37 | 85 | 79 |
| #2 | MadMat | +2.21 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | Hulk998 | +1.95 | 77 | 71 |
| #4 | n0madic | +1.29 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | .blackyyy | +1.20 | 64 | 71 |





