








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 314 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8476 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5953 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5152 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5836 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,690 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk998 | 58% | 254 |
| #2 | mexn¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 56% | 100 |
| #3 | .blackyyy | 55% | 332 |
| #4 | n0madic | 55% | 269 |
| #5 | -TobseN- | 53% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .blackyyy | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | n0madic | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | StupidAF | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Mikefox2k | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Hulk998 | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .blackyyy | 996 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | Hulk998 | 889 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | -TobseN- | 814 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #4 | n0madic | 553 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Mr. Bacon | 188 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk998 | +2.12 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | n0madic | +1.57 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | .blackyyy | +1.51 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | StupidAF | +1.07 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | BattleDurk | +0.21 | 67 | 55 |





