








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1083 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5657 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3644 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3597 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2678 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,474 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pokolm | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | kassb | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | savo | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | rytky | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | topi | 47% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pokolm | 25 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | isoJ | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | jamppa | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | savo | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | IsoS | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | isoJ | 819 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | IsoS | 327 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | jamppa | 299 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pokolm | 246 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | teppoyy | 200 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pokolm | +2.83 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | kassb | +2.29 | 80 | 40 |
| #3 | Kikoeel | +1.73 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | savo | +1.24 | 78 | 59 |
| #5 | 很高興能被禁用 | +0.16 | 68 | 51 |





