








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 905 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4643 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3871 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3427 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2646 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,785,740 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pokolm | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | kassb | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | savo | 59% | 64 |
| #4 | rytky | 59% | 66 |
| #5 | topi | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kikoeel | 24 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Pokolm | 20 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | IsoS | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | jamppa | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 很高興能被禁用 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pokolm | +3.36 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | kassb | +2.22 | 80 | 42 |
| #3 | Kikoeel | +1.86 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | 很高興能被禁用 | +0.88 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | savo | +0.82 | 77 | 60 |





