








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2597 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1542 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1722 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1850 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,349 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | WHY GOD WHY | 47% | 172 |
| #9 | ?Newsensi Gandhi | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | chole bhature recipe in hindi | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | Kazuto | 44% | 39 |
| #12 | Rinkiya ke papa | 42% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHY GOD WHY | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Rinkiya ke papa | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | C.C. | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | chole bhature recipe in hindi | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | I n v 1 n c i b L e | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHY GOD WHY | 359 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | C.C. | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | I n v 1 n c i b L e | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | RyoKaan | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rinkiya ke papa | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |





