








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 604 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4885 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5612 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7040 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6018 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,127,350 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mela vaa :D | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | KESSU | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Joelo | 58% | 161 |
| #4 | fun guy | 57% | 115 |
| #5 | DnZ | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mela vaa :D | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | KESSU | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Joelo | 58% | 161 |
| #4 | fun guy | 57% | 115 |
| #5 | DnZ | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fun guy | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | DnZ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joelo | 1013 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #2 | fun guy | 265 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | DnZ | 191 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | mela vaa :D | 187 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | KESSU | 23 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KESSU | +3.68 | 83 | 47 |
| #2 | DnZ | +1.68 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | fun guy | +1.43 | 70 | 77 |
| #4 | Joelo | +0.13 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | mela vaa :D | -0.71 | 76 | 64 |





