








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1566 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2886 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 117 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,948 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ser.Ayden | 52% | 48 |
| #2 | Super Sissy Sniper | 48% | 137 |
| #3 | Gunslinger Shirnish | 47% | 293 |
| #4 | Phenom ッ | 47% | 307 |
| #5 | NxtLvlStupid | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gunslinger Shirnish | 47% | 293 |
| #4 | Phenom ッ | 47% | 307 |
| #5 | NxtLvlStupid | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 46% | 83 |
| #7 | ModernIngot | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Sissy Sniper | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Gunslinger Shirnish | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Phenom ッ | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Ser.Ayden | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Sissy Sniper | 596 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gunslinger Shirnish | 410 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Phenom ッ | 226 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 186 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | ModernIngot | 174 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Sissy Sniper | +1.25 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Phenom ッ | +1.18 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | Gunslinger Shirnish | +0.79 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | ModernIngot | -0.24 | 55 | 64 |
| #5 | Ser.Ayden | -1.53 | 42 | 25 |





