








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2700 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4281 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1902 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1057 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,112 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ser.Ayden | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | Super Sissy Sniper | 49% | 156 |
| #3 | NxtLvlStupid | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Phenom ッ | 48% | 309 |
| #5 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NxtLvlStupid | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Phenom ッ | 48% | 309 |
| #5 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 48% | 82 |
| #6 | big nose larry | 47% | 293 |
| #7 | ModernIngot | 38% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big nose larry | 25 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Super Sissy Sniper | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Phenom ッ | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Ser.Ayden | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Sissy Sniper | 660 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | big nose larry | 424 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | Phenom ッ | 232 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | ModernIngot | 203 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | big ear eric #ripJuice #ripX | 181 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phenom ッ | +1.37 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Super Sissy Sniper | +1.06 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Gunslinger Shirnish | +0.98 | 51 | 56 |
| #4 | ModernIngot | -0.09 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | Ser.Ayden | -1.71 | 40 | 26 |





