








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 26% |
| Smokes | 789 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 474 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,394 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♣Patuldis♣ | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | kubokubik 2亗 | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | Filkisss | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | kubokubik亗 | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | clay1v__ | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♣Patuldis♣ | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | kubokubik 2亗 | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | Filkisss | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | kubokubik亗 | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | clay1v__ | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubokubik 2亗 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Filkisss | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | clay1v__ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ♣Patuldis♣ | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubokubik 2亗 | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Filkisss | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | kubokubik亗 | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | clay1v__ | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♣Patuldis♣ | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubokubik 2亗 | +5.91 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Rx+ | +1.63 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | kubokubik亗 | +1.19 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | clay1v__ | +0.31 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | Filkisss | -1.04 | 61 | 62 |





