








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6296 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8955 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5107 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6843 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,832,120 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babyman | 85 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Otis | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Horizon | 14 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | M N Carlton | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Bairdii | 10 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babyman | 322 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #2 | M N Carlton | 317 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ˗ˏˋ Zoetz * ✩ .゚♡ | 225 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bairdii | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Otis | 123 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bairdii | +3.49 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Babyman | +3.47 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | Caspar das Schlossgespenst | +2.22 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Zelenta | +1.51 | 70 | 31 |
| #5 | Sonny | +0.68 | 61 | 28 |





