








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 979 | 37% |
| Smokes | 648 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 499 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 495 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,551 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycannalise | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | Kapten impatents | 37% | 35 |
| #4 | Kohtla-Järve Milf Hunter | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | Meix | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycannalise | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | Kapten impatents | 37% | 35 |
| #4 | Kohtla-Järve Milf Hunter | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | Meix | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapten impatents | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Kohtla-Järve Milf Hunter | 3 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Psycannalise | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Meix | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycannalise | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kapten impatents | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kohtla-Järve Milf Hunter | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Meix | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meix | +5.52 | 96 | 65 |
| #2 | Psycannalise | +3.09 | 96 | 55 |
| #3 | Kohtla-Järve Milf Hunter | +1.17 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | chris 21 | +0.18 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | T00m4$ H€ndr1k $w4G | -2.92 | 46 | 22 |





