










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4257 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2870 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2669 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,329,397 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1028 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BdK | 49% | 195 |
| #2 | meatcock | 48% | 105 |
| #3 | Nick | 46% | 100 |
| #4 | Fn.R | 46% | 219 |
| #5 | Mike Glennon | 45% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | meatcock | 48% | 105 |
| #3 | Nick | 46% | 100 |
| #4 | Fn.R | 46% | 219 |
| #5 | Mike Glennon | 45% | 165 |
| #6 | Best Gamer 2018 | 27% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fn.R | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Mike Glennon | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Nick | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | BdK | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fn.R | 664 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | BdK | 361 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | meatcock | 254 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nick | 252 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mike Glennon | 125 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan | +2.07 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | BdK | -0.32 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | Mike Glennon | -0.33 | 83 | 45 |
| #4 | Fn.R | -1.13 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | Nick | -1.15 | 67 | 55 |





