










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2104 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2678 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2155 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,443,253 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mike Glennon | 50% | 151 |
| #5 | dan | 49% | 195 |
| #6 | Kuka | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | Fn.R | 43% | 98 |
| #8 | Best Gamer 2018 | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Nick | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Kuka | 8 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | Mike Glennon | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Fn.R | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan | 687 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Fn.R | 315 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | meatcock | 280 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nick | 269 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mike Glennon | 106 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan | +2.75 | 91 | 54 |
| #2 | BdK | +0.16 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Mike Glennon | +0.10 | 84 | 43 |
| #4 | Nick | -0.46 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | meatcock | -1.01 | 59 | 42 |





