








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2706 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3504 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3948 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3951 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,933,064 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ObiHornchen | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | "penaltykiller" | 52% | 192 |
| #3 | FlawlesZ | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Krix | 51% | 195 |
| #5 | Schomannski | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris P. Bacon | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Krix | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | "penaltykiller" | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mrs Smith <3 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | »¤S¢ou†« | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris P. Bacon | 393 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mrs Smith <3 | 332 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | guru | 我不會輸 | 308 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | "penaltykiller" | 303 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Krix | 251 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlawlesZ | +2.90 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | guru | 我不會輸 | +2.64 | 84 | 75 |
| #3 | "penaltykiller" | +2.51 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | Schomannski | +1.78 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | H4d3Z | +0.57 | 58 | 49 |





