








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1040 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3958 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7231 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 5713 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1365 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,262,621 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtimus Prime | 70% | 161 |
| #2 | noxsu | 67% | 273 |
| #3 | goondre | 66% | 243 |
| #4 | Thorben1402 | 64% | 115 |
| #5 | Mytroxus | 63% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtimus Prime | 70% | 161 |
| #2 | noxsu | 67% | 273 |
| #3 | goondre | 66% | 243 |
| #4 | Thorben1402 | 64% | 115 |
| #5 | Mytroxus | 63% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goondre | 28 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Mytroxus | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | AWPtimus Prime | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | noxsu | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Thorben1402 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goondre | 538 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | AWPtimus Prime | 486 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | noxsu | 338 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mytroxus | 240 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Thorben1402 | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goondre | +2.80 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | armenian ra_ist | +1.91 | 80 | 46 |
| #3 | noxsu | +1.59 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Mytroxus | +0.66 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Thorben1402 | +0.55 | 68 | 24 |





