








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 801 | 30% |
| Smokes | 674 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 682 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,574 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playnn | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | DreaM | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | R1Ptor 🦖 | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playnn | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | DreaM | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | R1Ptor 🦖 | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1Ptor 🦖 | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | playnn | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1Ptor 🦖 | 91 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | DreaM | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | playnn | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playnn | +2.86 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | R1Ptor 🦖 | +1.31 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | James8K | +1.18 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | DreaM | +0.84 | 87 | 73 |





