








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,868 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 35% |
| Smokes | 401 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 266 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,704 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klonkarN (klonk) | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | worriez | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | eldiablo | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Osukā Rai | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | JoeAWESOME | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eldiablo | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Osukā Rai | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | JoeAWESOME | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | ✪ quacke | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | hazte | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazte | 2 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | worriez | 1 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeAWESOME | 29 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪ quacke | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | worriez | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | klonkarN (klonk) | 11 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | hazte | 10 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klonkarN (klonk) | +6.95 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | hazte | +5.88 | 97 | 59 |
| #3 | eldiablo | +2.52 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | worriez | +1.19 | 88 | 51 |
| #5 | rrosenberg | +0.77 | 82 | 52 |





