








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1095 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2008 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1648 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1834 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,395 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FabiCe | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | maloo | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Da_Maina | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | raideN | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Welter21 | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bretzos | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Da_Maina | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Suppengemüse SLord♿ | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | maloo | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | raideN | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maloo | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bretzos | 73 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | raideN | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Da_Maina | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Suppengemüse SLord♿ | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |





