








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2150 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2817 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2070 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1782 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,466 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da_Maina | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | FabiCe | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | raideN | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Baba | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | Bretzos | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FabiCe | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | raideN | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Baba | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | Bretzos | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | Suppengemüse SLord♿ | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baba | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | FabiCe | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | raideN | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Bretzos | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Da_Maina | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baba | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | raideN | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Da_Maina | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | FabiCe | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bretzos | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maloo | +2.31 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Baba | +0.03 | 48 | 57 |
| #3 | Bretzos | -0.80 | 38 | 56 |
| #4 | raideN | -1.17 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | Suppengemüse SLord♿ | -2.38 | 62 | 36 |





