








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 136 | 16% |
| Smokes | 188 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 236 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,001 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m D ^ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | F4beldyret | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Hakket makker | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | IVANJOHANSEN | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | Sisqo | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Av for sQren | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | F4beldyret | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | IVANJOHANSEN | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sisqo | 18 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Johnny | 18 | 0.13 | 0 min |





