








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 14% |
| Smokes | 362 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 523 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,946 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4beldyret | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Sisqo | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Nelsky | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Av for sQren | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | Hakket makker | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sisqo | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Nelsky | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Av for sQren | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | Hakket makker | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | Johnny | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Av for sQren | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Sisqo | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Johnny | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Av for sQren | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sisqo | 50 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | F4beldyret | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Johnny | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hakket makker | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4beldyret | +7.29 | 68 | 57 |
| #2 | Sisqo | +4.95 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Johnny | +2.73 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | Av for sQren | +1.69 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Nelsky | +0.28 | 56 | 48 |





