








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2608 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2819 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2075 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2355 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,926 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agusplex | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Nox | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | micropingeo a domicilio | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | (CAO)JuankOMG | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Godness | 47% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godness | 357 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | (CAO)JuankOMG | 327 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #3 | M4K1NON | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nox | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | micropingeo a domicilio | 109 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | micropingeo a domicilio | +1.56 | 59 | 76 |
| #2 | Nox | +1.55 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | El Paltas | +0.54 | 32 | 53 |
| #4 | Godness | +0.15 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | Agusplex | -1.13 | 69 | 37 |





