








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7106 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7095 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5333 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5372 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,067 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anqo | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | SpiRk | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Elcafe | 53% | 207 |
| #4 | Emperor of the Source2 Empire | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anqo | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | SpiRk | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Elcafe | 53% | 207 |
| #4 | Emperor of the Source2 Empire | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elcafe | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Emperor of the Source2 Empire | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | SpiRk | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | anqo | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elcafe | 597 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Emperor of the Source2 Empire | 209 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | SpiRk | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | anqo | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anqo | +1.81 | 76 | 77 |
| #2 | groskingkong | +0.12 | 74 | 77 |
| #3 | SpiRk | +0.02 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Emperor of the Source2 Empire | -0.14 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | Elcafe | -0.22 | 62 | 64 |





