








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 713 | 30% |
| Smokes | 496 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 542 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 605 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,469 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c1jo | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | bardzinek | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | kapibe | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | ⛧ƂØЯɏ5 XD | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Shou7yy | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bardzinek | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | kapibe | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | ⛧ƂØЯɏ5 XD | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Shou7yy | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Ojiro 神 | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bardzinek | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | c1jo | 4 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | kapibe | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapibe | 97 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #2 | bardzinek | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ojiro 神 | 47 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | c1jo | 28 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | ⛧ƂØЯɏ5 XD | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xy3rp | +2.40 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Shou7yy | +2.26 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | bardzinek | +1.44 | 91 | 55 |
| #4 | c1jo | +1.00 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Ojiro 神 | -0.20 | 83 | 71 |





