








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 332 | 48% |
| Smokes | 99 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 103 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 164 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $44,298 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eqze | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Bestia z Wadowic | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | GATRIS | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | b0zke | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | CaptainCubasa | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | b0zke | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | CaptainCubasa | 59% | 29 |
| #6 | Shou7yy | 57% | 60 |
| #7 | CLYDΞ | 56% | 16 |
| #8 | Xy3rp | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CLYDΞ | 4 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Bestia z Wadowic | 4 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | Xy3rp | 2 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | Shou7yy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Eqze | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0zke | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eqze | 103 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Shou7yy | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | CaptainCubasa | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | GATRIS | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GATRIS | +4.50 | 97 | 62 |
| #2 | Xy3rp | +3.91 | 90 | 34 |
| #3 | Shou7yy | +2.22 | 90 | 58 |
| #4 | b0zke | +2.05 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | Eqze | +1.26 | 83 | 63 |





