










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 31% |
| Smokes | 182 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 377 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,543 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㅿ | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | punk | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Window Licker #pride | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Gn4rly Nobody | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㅿ | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | punk | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Window Licker #pride | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Gn4rly Nobody | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gn4rly Nobody | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ㅿ | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gn4rly Nobody | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | ㅿ | 31 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | punk | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Window Licker #pride | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Window Licker #pride | +7.02 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | Gn4rly Nobody | +5.98 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | ㅿ | +4.89 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | punk | -0.58 | 48 | 30 |
| #5 | TheNiloOfTheWeek | -5.12 | 37 | 46 |





