








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 18% |
| Smokes | 142 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 511 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 337 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,761 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 67% | 12 | ||
| #2 | Frights | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | big man devve | 46% | 48 |
| 45% | 29 | ||
| #5 | BLUNDERR | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Frights | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | big man devve | 46% | 48 |
| 45% | 29 | ||
| #5 | BLUNDERR | 40% | 20 |
| #6 | cheetah | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big man devve | 18 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | cheetah | 8 | 0.0071 |
| 4 | 0.0151 | ||
| 3 | 0.0047 | ||
| #5 | Frights | 3 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big man devve | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| 35 | 0.05 | 1 min | ||
| #3 | Frights | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | BLUNDERR | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big man devve | +2.57 | 69 | 39 |
| +1.70 | 76 | 43 | ||
| +1.38 | 77 | 48 | ||
| #4 | cheetah | +1.35 | 76 | 14 |
| #5 | BLUNDERR | +0.28 | 57 | 50 |





