








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3604 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3059 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3224 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,696 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 56% | 39 | ||
| 56% | 18 | ||
| #3 | lala from teletubbies | 53% | 19 |
| 52% | 21 | ||
| #5 | big man devve | 51% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big man devve | 33 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | unfair chinese prison warden | 5 | 0.0037 |
| 4 | 0.0047 | ||
| #4 | lala from teletubbies | 4 | 0.0098 |
| 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big man devve | 305 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | unfair chinese prison warden | 82 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| 49 | 0.06 | 1 min | ||
| #4 | lala from teletubbies | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lala from teletubbies | +3.32 | 50 | 54 |
| #2 | unfair chinese prison warden | +2.28 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | big man devve | +1.94 | 61 | 40 |
| +1.51 | 81 | 40 | ||
| +0.70 | 67 | 46 |





