








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1322 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 797 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 858 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,566 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bubbles | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | \ AWP / Thelegend | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | (Das_Patty) ⑳ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | insani | 43% | 46 |
| #6 | EmersonShawty | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmersonShawty | 10 | 0.0412 |
| #2 | insani | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | \ AWP / Thelegend | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | bubbles | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | (Das_Patty) ⑳ | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | insani | 146 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | \ AWP / Thelegend | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | bubbles | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | (Das_Patty) ⑳ | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | EmersonShawty | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubbles | +2.30 | 48 | 51 |
| #2 | \ AWP / Thelegend | +1.21 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | alves0308 (milf hunter) | +0.77 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | (Das_Patty) ⑳ | +0.62 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | EmersonShawty | +0.53 | 78 | 63 |





