








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1619 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1567 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1623 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,742 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dramzi | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Klets | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Barney 'bait for it' Stinson (or | 75% | 20 |
| #4 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | Neicifjenks | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | sepzu | 52% | 61 |
| #9 | Po | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | Domimola | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | glink333 | 50% | 74 |
| #12 | N1KK3 | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepzu | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | vsd | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | N1KK3 | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | johaN - | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glink333 | 357 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | sepzu | 283 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | johaN - | 230 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | N1KK3 | 124 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glink333 | +2.34 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Cloudy | +1.49 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Dramzi | +1.28 | 64 | 41 |
| #4 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | +1.00 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | N1KK3 | +0.92 | 63 | 70 |





