








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3497 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2364 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2223 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2089 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,893 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudy | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | johaN - | 53% | 144 |
| #3 | glink333 | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Emzies | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Po | 49% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | glink333 | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Emzies | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Po | 49% | 158 |
| #6 | vsd | 48% | 92 |
| #7 | amatho | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Po | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | vsd | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | johaN - | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | glink333 | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Cloudy | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johaN - | 433 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | glink333 | 232 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Po | 194 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | vsd | 182 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cloudy | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | +2.56 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | glink333 | +2.38 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Cloudy | +0.63 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | johaN - | +0.10 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | vsd | -0.25 | 66 | 56 |





