










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1224 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2646 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2203 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1759 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,952 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Win Baby | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | Nvmi | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Mongo | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | Ж Widow | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | M4ILBOX | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Theeone | 39% | 23 |
| #15 | (WTH) Njordin | 38% | 37 |
| #16 | terry | 31% | 45 |
| #17 | 3fm | 26% | 23 |
| #18 | (WTH) HoneyBadger | 22% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellow | 18 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | NotBurke | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Dont Shoot! | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Mongo | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | (WTH) HoneyBadger | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | 160 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Swift | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ж Widow | 131 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | NotBurke | 122 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dont Shoot! | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | +6.56 | 95 | 46 |
| #2 | Just Win Baby | +4.72 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Nvmi | +2.86 | 44 | 63 |
| #4 | kapk | +2.60 | 67 | 37 |
| #5 | Ж Widow | +1.93 | 34 | 43 |





