








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2407 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2751 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2856 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2945 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,158,301 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🥦Mr_Marihuana🥦 | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | Ujebane palce smalcem | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | Tiruliru | 51% | 106 |
| #4 | Knedla | 49% | 409 |
| #5 | Abdul Mutalib | 46% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knedla | 55 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Tiruliru | 20 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Abdul Mutalib | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Ujebane palce smalcem | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | xAMSALx | 6 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knedla | 452 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #2 | Abdul Mutalib | 291 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tiruliru | 199 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ujebane palce smalcem | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | 🥦Mr_Marihuana🥦 | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🥦Mr_Marihuana🥦 | +2.61 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | Knedla | +1.19 | 49 | 43 |
| #3 | Ujebane palce smalcem | -0.50 | 18 | 55 |
| #4 | Tiruliru | -0.66 | 26 | 48 |
| #5 | Abdul Mutalib | -0.91 | 44 | 42 |





