








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2163 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3152 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1861 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,529 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぷ | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Golab | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | huj | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | Taxooh | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | h0ld♥K | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taxooh | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | huj | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | h0ld♥K | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Golab | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ぷ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taxooh | 125 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | h0ld♥K | 100 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | ぷ | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Golab | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | huj | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huj | +2.74 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | POWER | +2.44 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | Golab | +0.89 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | ぷ | +0.29 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | h0ld♥K | -0.62 | 64 | 67 |





