








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 18% |
| Smokes | 362 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,491 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golab | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | ぷ | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | Taxooh | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | POWER | 61% | 36 |
| #5 | kubinho | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Taxooh | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | POWER | 61% | 36 |
| #5 | kubinho | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | Scorpion Flail | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | h0ld♥K | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ld♥K | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Taxooh | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | POWER | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Golab | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ぷ | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POWER | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Taxooh | 89 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | ぷ | 87 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | h0ld♥K | 70 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Golab | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huj | +2.59 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | POWER | +0.59 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Golab | +0.50 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | ぷ | +0.32 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | kubinho | -0.55 | 81 | 59 |





