








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2013 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 699 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,413 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exclaimer | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Ro_@N3Y | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | 亗 S O S 亗 | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | nivethZ | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | aXe | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | SeekNDstroy | 36% | 28 |
| #15 | WHOsNEXT | 33% | 18 |
| #16 | Br4v0 Jr. | 33% | 43 |
| #17 | ✪ 𝓩𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓐 | 30% | 33 |
| #18 | John Wick | 29% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br4v0 Jr. | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | John Wick | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | TM|$!|v3rBu||3t | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | S A M U | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | SeekNDstroy | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR!ME | 164 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪ 𝓩𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓐 | 136 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Br4v0 Jr. | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | KͤraSͯheDͤ | 117 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | exclaimer | 116 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CliveBixby | +4.12 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Br4v0 Jr. | +4.10 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪ 𝓩𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓐 | +2.59 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | exclaimer | +2.39 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | W A T S O N _ | +1.74 | 64 | 73 |





