








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3001 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3690 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4213 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3802 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,839 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 988 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanapaps | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Obamium.com | 59% | 152 |
| #3 | BlnkyRandy | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | Basy | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | SnoVoX | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Obamium.com | 59% | 152 |
| #3 | BlnkyRandy | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | Basy | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | SnoVoX | 56% | 45 |
| #6 | st0rms | 55% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obamium.com | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Basy | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | st0rms | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | BlnkyRandy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Vanapaps | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obamium.com | 596 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | st0rms | 224 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | SnoVoX | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | BlnkyRandy | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Basy | 103 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnoVoX | +2.10 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Basy | +1.98 | 79 | 40 |
| #3 | Obamium.com | +1.57 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | BlnkyRandy | +1.07 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | tigerras | +0.71 | 58 | 51 |





