








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1221 | 46% |
| Smokes | 626 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,481 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaddY. | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | SD_Pro_Newbie | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Discalculia#PKMKB | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 54% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Discalculia#PKMKB | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 54% | 41 |
| #6 | KE$HAV | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | OppenHymen | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Discalculia#PKMKB | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | SD_Pro_Newbie | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | 270 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #2 | Discalculia#PKMKB | 121 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | SD_Pro_Newbie | 76 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | FaddY. | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ MasTeR | +3.43 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | ☠✞THE_PÛÑÏŚHÊR✞☠ | +3.29 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | FaddY. | +3.08 | 88 | 73 |
| #4 | ♤︎❣︎!>bO! <!❣ | +2.73 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Discalculia#PKMKB | -0.91 | 24 | 51 |





