








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2070 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2548 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1877 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1577 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,562 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaffe | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Klypa | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | tiikeri | 68% | 34 |
| #4 | tomaly | 66% | 74 |
| #5 | zb0t | 65% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | oNLY- | 54% | 24 |
| #14 | Plainy | 50% | 20 |
| #15 | eple | 48% | 48 |
| #16 | stoffz | 47% | 17 |
| #17 | Contram | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eple | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | æksjN | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | tomaly | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | eLoN mOiSt | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Afroditei | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomaly | +6.75 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | æksjN | +3.63 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | banandan | +2.54 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | stoffz | +2.42 | 90 | 69 |
| #5 | eple | +1.41 | 82 | 64 |





