








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3135 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2246 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1953 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1630 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,817 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mpaypal diff:( | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | NXKO1D0L | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Buggy Toast | 44% | 106 |
| #4 | nillerdiller | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | saltf1sk | 42% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naroog | 786 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Buggy Toast | 393 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | saltf1sk | 290 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mpaypal diff:( | 225 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | banando | 179 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saltf1sk | +2.67 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | nillerdiller | +1.50 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | Mpaypal diff:( | +1.25 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | naroog | +0.85 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | Buggy Toast | +0.70 | 56 | 67 |





