








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1684 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1493 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,437 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sleeeeeeep | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Mom of 3 | 57% | 180 |
| #4 | god | 55% | 164 |
| #5 | deep_FRIED | 55% | 55 |
| #6 | wham! | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mom of 3 | 72 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | god | 49 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Sleeeeeeep | 17 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | wham! | 7 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | deep_FRIED | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mom of 3 | 698 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sleeeeeeep | 289 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | god | 205 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | deep_FRIED | 203 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | wham! | 56 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mom of 3 | +2.98 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | wham! | +2.68 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | |Cunt| | +2.22 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | Sleeeeeeep | +0.75 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | deep_FRIED | -0.35 | 67 | 55 |





