








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 561 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6823 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5274 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5596 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4402 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,276,241 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 534 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1pEz | 52% | 87 |
| #2 | reeeeeee.. | 49% | 68 |
| #3 | Daddy Devito | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | Frygten | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | GoombaWhumpa | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1pEz | 52% | 87 |
| #2 | reeeeeee.. | 49% | 68 |
| #3 | Daddy Devito | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | Frygten | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | GoombaWhumpa | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1pEz | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Frygten | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Daddy Devito | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | GoombaWhumpa | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | reeeeeee.. | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reeeeeee.. | 150 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Daddy Devito | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Frygten | 92 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | GoombaWhumpa | 77 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sn1pEz | 76 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Devito | +1.69 | 59 | 65 |
| #2 | GoombaWhumpa | +0.88 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | ZethicTTV | +0.88 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | Frygten | +0.82 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | Sn1pEz | +0.13 | 52 | 31 |





