








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1140 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1475 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1873 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,895 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S̶H̶I̶N̶I̶G̶A̶M̶I̶ | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Daddy Devito | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | ZethicTTV | 46% | 96 |
| #4 | reeeeeee.. | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | Frygten | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Daddy Devito | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | ZethicTTV | 46% | 96 |
| #4 | reeeeeee.. | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | Frygten | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Spejdermand | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZethicTTV | 25 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Daddy Devito | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | reeeeeee.. | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | S̶H̶I̶N̶I̶G̶A̶M̶I̶ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Spejdermand | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZethicTTV | 280 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Daddy Devito | 166 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | reeeeeee.. | 130 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Frygten | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | S̶H̶I̶N̶I̶G̶A̶M̶I̶ | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S̶H̶I̶N̶I̶G̶A̶M̶I̶ | +2.67 | 67 | 25 |
| #2 | Daddy Devito | +1.48 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | Frygten | +0.96 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | GoombaWhumpa | +0.38 | 64 | 50 |
| #5 | ZethicTTV | -0.87 | 50 | 66 |





