










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
81 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4 | 10% |
| Smokes | 6 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 15 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 15 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,992 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | адольф нигер | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | masina | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Leetify | 31% | 16 |
| #4 | Энкефалиновая Сладость | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | girly girl | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | адольф нигер | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | masina | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Leetify | 31% | 16 |
| #4 | Энкефалиновая Сладость | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | girly girl | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | girly girl | 3 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | masina | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Энкефалиновая Сладость | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | girly girl | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Энкефалиновая Сладость | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Leetify | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | masina | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | адольф нигер | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Энкефалиновая Сладость | +0.42 | 64 | 45 |
| #2 | masina | -0.16 | 83 | 28 |
| #3 | адольф нигер | -0.60 | 66 | 19 |
| #4 | girly girl | -2.06 | 42 | 48 |
| #5 | пиписька | -2.16 | 27 | 6 |





