








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,217,474 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2010 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ▴holzi | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | haste | 74% | 46 |
| #3 | Jan van Zantvoort | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | NOC4 | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ▴holzi | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | haste | 74% | 46 |
| #3 | Jan van Zantvoort | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | NOC4 | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan van Zantvoort | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | haste | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | NOC4 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ▴holzi | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haste | 174 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | NOC4 | 151 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jan van Zantvoort | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ▴holzi | 72 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seoul73 | +2.81 | 89 | 43 |
| #2 | haste | +0.68 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | ▴holzi | +0.05 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | NOC4 | -0.54 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Jan van Zantvoort | -2.67 | 40 | 43 |





