










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2454 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2145 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2456 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1309 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,479 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 714 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zZz | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | Hydrogen | 83% | 24 |
| #3 | Jan van Zantvoort | 83% | 35 |
| #4 | seoul73 | 74% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zZz | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | Hydrogen | 83% | 24 |
| #3 | Jan van Zantvoort | 83% | 35 |
| #4 | seoul73 | 74% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan van Zantvoort | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Hydrogen | 6 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | seoul73 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | zZz | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan van Zantvoort | 77 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Hydrogen | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | seoul73 | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | zZz | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydrogen | +5.94 | 93 | 46 |
| #2 | zZz | +5.44 | 95 | 35 |
| #3 | haste | +3.44 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | seoul73 | +3.21 | 92 | 47 |
| #5 | Jan van Zantvoort | -1.27 | 44 | 55 |





