








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 350 | 31% |
| Smokes | 349 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 190 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 243 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,529 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Amiral Ass-aim | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | j'ai glissé chef | 27% | 11 |
| #12 | El Pommo | 27% | 11 |
| #13 | osuplayer727 | 11% | 9 |
| #14 | Mephisboom | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j'ai glissé chef | 3 | 0.0231 |
| #2 | BFB | 3 | 0.0319 |
| #3 | Sheitan DOOR | 2 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | Mephisboom | 2 | 0.0282 |
| #5 | Nefyro | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Never4Ever | +8.99 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Never4Ever | +6.43 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | El Pommo | +3.87 | 99 | 45 |
| #4 | j'ai glissé chef | +3.77 | 71 | 33 |
| #5 | Sheitan DOOR | +3.07 | 81 | 61 |





