








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2164 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2531 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2920 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2907 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,258 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | shadowzツ | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | Top women respecter | 46% | 52 |
| #4 | UwU Fucky Wucky | 34% | 29 |
| #5 | M1chelangel0 | 33% | 27 |
| #6 | Dorel Inima De Leu | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU Fucky Wucky | 15 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | shadowzツ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Top women respecter | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | M1chelangel0 | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Dorel Inima De Leu | 1 | 0.0030 |





