








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1064 | 28% |
| Smokes | 869 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 984 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,771 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top women respecter | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | piqutz | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | UwU Fucky Wucky | 28% | 29 |
| #4 | M1chelangel0 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top women respecter | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | piqutz | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | UwU Fucky Wucky | 28% | 29 |
| #4 | M1chelangel0 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU Fucky Wucky | 12 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | piqutz | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Top women respecter | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | M1chelangel0 | 2 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top women respecter | 175 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | piqutz | 155 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | UwU Fucky Wucky | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | M1chelangel0 | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top women respecter | +5.84 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | piqutz | +0.38 | 58 | 68 |
| #3 | shadowzツ | -0.49 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | M1chelangel0 | -1.36 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | UwU Fucky Wucky | -3.56 | 17 | 44 |





